Please enjoy this guest blog by Stacy A. Aesoph, who wrote about her experience choosing between a traditional wedding and a destination wedding. Her details are so helpful! Thank you, Stacy.
When Hitch Studio asked me to write a post about my destination wedding, I was delighted to share my experiences with other brides! I should start off by explaining our decision to have a destination wedding: 1.) We knew we wanted a semi-small wedding, 2.) We knew just my husband and I would handle all wedding costs so we wanted a budget-friendly wedding option, 3.) We wanted to do something different and fun, 4.) We didn’t want family and friends feeling overwhelmed with wedding details (how many horror stories have you heard about families fighting, having certain expectations, or just plain stressed out about wedding plans?! We wanted to avoid the stress and allow our family and friends to just enjoy themselves). So a destination wedding just made sense for us.
The next big decision was to determine where and when to have our destination wedding. This is where things can get tricky. In my head I had a few places where I thought it would be fabulous to have a destination wedding: Hawaii, Virgin Islands, the Bahamas, or Mexico. All locations were beautiful and warm. Before you pick a location, I would suggest having an idea of when you want to get married. Certain times of the year are WAY more expensive than others. My husband comes from a very large family – we are talking about almost 50 people in his immediate family. The best time for his entire family to vacation was between Christmas and New Year’s; therefore, we decided to have our wedding right after New Years on January 2, 2015. I would avoid this timeframe if possible; it is the most expensive time of the year for travel and lodging no matter where you go (just to give you an idea, if we had scheduled our wedding just 2 weeks later in January, our costs would have been cut in half). We chose this date for specific family reasons. After having a date in mind, we researched locations online (accommodations, wedding options, and pricing). We also asked family and friends for recommendations, since we hadn’t visited all of these places. A family friend suggested Dreams Tulum Resort in Mexico, since he had been married there. Mexico had the best pricing out of all of the locations and knowing someone who had been married there helped us make the decision.
Now that we had the date and location reserved, we could proceed with Save the Dates and letting family and close friends know about the date. We worked with a local travel agent, who helped coordinate all of our guests travel and accommodations. You don’t want to be the one that everyone is calling asking questions about the resort or airfare. Trust me; you will want to use a recommended travel agent! A good travel agent will make your wedding planning much easier and less stressful for everyone involved!
Invitations and Save the Dates
One of my favorite things that Hitch created for us were our invites and save the date magnets! They were absolutely stunning! I worked with Carrie on the design and each step of the way she provided insight and great suggestions. At first, I really didn’t know what the invites should look like; I just knew I wanted blush pink. She came up with the perfect design that reflected my personality and the feel of the wedding. We stayed away from the beach/Mexican theme, because we wanted the design to have more of a romantic feel. Our wedding was about our love and not necessarily the beach. 🙂 We sent out our save the date magnets eight months ahead of time, but let our guests know LONG in advance to help with planning for international travel.
Resort
My husband and I decided that we should probably check out the resort for ourselves before the wedding. We researched the cheapest time to go, which happened to be in May, so we booked our flight and resort room! We called it our “pre-moon”. It was a fun little get-away, but we spent most of our time meeting with our on-site wedding coordinator and photographer. We also watched several weddings taking place on the beach and their receptions, so that was fun to see how it all came together. Now, I don’t know if all resorts operate this way, but Dreams Tulum can host up to 3 weddings per day! That’s a lot of wedding planning! So meeting with them in May, with our wedding taking place in January, they didn’t want to talk details. At first I found it frustrating that I couldn’t pick out everything right away, but it did allow me plenty of time to decide all of the details about 2 months before the wedding.
Budget
The resort wedding coordinator provided me with pricing and details for everything: flowers, decorations, table linens, entertainment, etc. EVERY little thing had a charge. The good thing is that most of the pricing was listed on their website, so I was able to put together a budget before we visited the resort. It did catch me off guard how much they charged for everything. Here’s another key thing to think about: Most resorts accommodate weddings with 20 people or less. You’ll see their pricing structure is based on a wedding of 20 or less people. Because my husband’s family is so large, we ended up with 60 guests. This is considered a large resort wedding; therefore, the costs jump as soon as you have more than 20 people. We needed to stay within our budget, so we got creative.
If you have 20 or less people attending your wedding, you are golden to have a very inexpensive, amazing destination wedding and reception with everything –welcome party, rehearsal dinner, cocktail hour, dinner and dance. We couldn’t afford to have all of the options because we had 60 people attending. We outsmarted the resort and just had dinner at one of the restaurants (Dreams Tulum is an all-inclusive resort, so it was very frustrating that they wanted to charge us almost $50 per plate for a wedding dinner!!). The restaurant didn’t take reservations, so we asked our guests to arrive at the restaurant right before it opened so we could all sit together. We also skipped the cocktail hour (we had our guests congregate at one of the resort bars) and everything worked out great! We decided to have a dance, so that’s where we incurred most of our costs – dance floor, champagne for everyone (we had to pay for waitresses and waiters), cake, DJ, and decorations. It was all very beautiful.
The wedding
The wedding on the beach was my favorite! It was stunning and more than I imagined it would be. I asked for pink and white flowers and after reviewing options that other brides had done at the resort, I knew what I wanted. The wedding staff did an amazing job with my flowers (Note: you can’t bring home flowers or your bouquet back to the States)! We also ordered raffia fans online and then had Hitch Design Studio create our programs to fit the fans (Hitch also came up a great way to tie the programs onto the fans so they would blow around). The resort wanted to charge $6 per chair sash, so instead I rented chair sashes from Hitch Studio – they were the perfect blush pink color and added a lot to the wedding (and also saved me a ton of money). I had family members and my personal attendant put the chair sashes on the chairs instead of the resort staff (saving $$). The fans/programs and chair sashes fit into my suitcase just fine.
The resort’s photographer was awesome! It was a little scary going with a photographer who we had never worked with before, but I provided a few ideas and the photographer did a great job of full-filing my requests and also suggesting great spots for photos (again, all he does every day is take wedding photos at that resort, so he is the best expert). We very pleased with his work and our photos turned out fabulous!
Welcome bags
Packing welcome bag items in our suitcase for 60 people didn’t seem like a good idea, so instead, my husband and I went to Mexico a few days before the wedding so we could purchase authentic Mexican items for the bags. We also wanted to provide our guests with something they could use rather than meaningless items that would just be thrown away or take up space in their suitcase as they traveled back to the States. We stayed a few days in Cancun and did our shopping there, since there was a large Walmart and other stores. We picked out large beach bags and filled them with sunscreen, aloe vera gel, authentic Mexican nuts and cookies. We didn’t need to provide any drinks because each room had a fridge filled with bottled water, beer and soda. We had the resort staff deliver each bag to each guest room for a small fee.
We had Hitch design our welcome bag letter, which included an agenda for the wedding day as well as a map of the resort noting the key locations for the day of the wedding.
Activities
A lot of wedding sites suggest planning a bunch of activities for your guests. That may be a good idea if you have a small group of people. For us with 60 people, all in different age ranges, this was not something I wanted to do. I saw our wedding as one day of their vacation. I wanted our family and friends to enjoy their time in Tulum, Mexico, so we didn’t plan any specific activities. This worked out great and allowed everyone one to do whatever they wanted to do! We did provide a few excursion recommendations on our wedding website and also suggested to guests to meet with the excursion experts on the resort. Some of our guests simply wanted to hang out at the pool or on the beach; others wanted to do more family activities off of the resort. Plus, there were a lot of different activities and entertainment at the resort itself. My husband and I were still able to spend ample time with friends and family before and after the wedding (we extended our stay for another week for our honeymoon after all of our guests left). We also had dinner with all family and friends almost every night. We would pick a restaurant and a time and everyone spread the word. We used “Whats App” to communicate with most family and friends. You put your phone on airplane mode when using the app, and then you don’t incur any international charges. Everything worked out great!
Gifts
We knew it was going to be an expensive trip for our family and friends to attend our wedding, so we listed the following on our invite: “if you wish to give us a gift please send it to our home address.” You don’t want guests giving you gifts at your wedding location and then trying to pack those items when you are ready to leave. We also didn’t expect guests to give us gifts since their trip to attend our wedding was really their gift.
Go with the flow
You have to understand that not everyone is going to be able to make it to your wedding (this is true whether you have a traditional wedding in your hometown or have a destination wedding). My father ended up getting very ill right before he and my mom and brother were to head down to Mexico. He was severely sick with the flu and wasn’t able to travel to Mexico. It was obviously very upsetting not to have him there, but his health was more important. So I went with the flow and had both of my brothers walk me down the aisle. Also, it’s wonderful to have a wedding coordinator at the resort and I was able to choose a lot of details; but ultimately, I relied on the resort staff to make sure everything looked great. You do have to let go of some control and let them do their job. After all, the resort organizes weddings every single day. It’s what they do! We ended up with great weather (with the exception of higher winds than normal), but if it had rained, we would have moved the ceremony to another location on the resort. I was prepared for that and that’s something you have to think about for any outdoor wedding. At the end of the day, what really matters is that you and your fiancé get married!
Travel tips
- Carry your wedding dress on the plane – ask them to store your wedding dress in their closet (don’t store it in the overhead bins or in your checked bag).
- Plan to have one large suitcase just for decorations or wedding items
- Give yourself extra time: arrive at least 3 days prior to your wedding and when you return, don’t go back to work right away in case your flight gets delayed.
- Plan to check at least one bag (since you will be staying a long time, pack full bottles of hair products, bath products, make-up , etc. in your checked bag). You want to have everything you need away from home.
- Pack airplane friendly supplies in your carry-on bag (i.e. toiletries, one swim suit, underwear, shorts, shirt and flip flops). You never know if your checked bag will get lost or delayed, so pack enough items to still enjoy yourself at your location.
- If you get sick while in Mexico, don’t be afraid to go to the pharmacy. I did not go to a doctor, but rather a pharmacy in Cancun because I knew I had a sinus infection after my arrival. I told the pharmacist I had a sinus infection and she provided me with the best medication I had ever had – my sinus infection was gone within a day.
- Read other brides’ reviews of your resort.
- Put your valuables in a locked safe once you are at the resort.
Here are some other tips from Hitch Design Studio on planning for a destination wedding and whether or not you need to hire a planner. Like us. 🙂
Destination versus traditional wedding
Overall, I would totally have a destination wedding over a traditional wedding any day! Sure there were a few hiccups, but you will have that with any wedding. For me personally, I know if we had had a traditional wedding in South Dakota, we would have had 400 people attending and would have gone broke trying to pay for everything. The stress of planning a traditional wedding wasn’t something I wanted to deal with, so I know I made the right decision. The things I loved most about our wedding was the beautiful location, relaxed atmosphere, having lots of time to spend with guests, and not having to stress about details!
