Hitch Design Studio specializes in Midwest wedding etiquette, so our official opinion about including a gift registry as part of your wedding invitation is, drum roll please…
YES, you can!
Now, before you gasp, hear us out.
When it comes to listing a gift registry on an insert card as part of your wedding invitation, Hitch doesn’t think it’s rude. Much the opposite!
Keeping Guests Informed in a Subtle, Polite Way
Some etiquette experts say that listing your gift registry information puts too much emphasis on the gifts. However, we believe your top priority is a positive experience for your guests. You want to be hospitable and you want your guests to be informed.
By including information about a gift registry, a cash registry or a honeymoon fund, it is helpful and easier for the guest to purchase a gift.
“Not listing your gift registry is like giving someone implied directions to your party, but not including the street names,” says Carrie Kuhl, designer.
Now, we do believe there is a tactful, polite way to include this key bit of information on the wedding stationary. The registry information should never be placed directly on the wedding invitation. We suggest that it be placed at the bottom of the insert card in a subtle place and/or as a wedding website.
This way, there’s no emphasis on it. And, there is no pressure for guests to bring or send a gift – it’s all a personal decision for each guest.
Don’t Rely on Friends and Family to Spread the Word!
EmilyPost.com says, “It’s best to let people know [about the registry] the ‘old fashioned way:’ by word of mouth. Tell your family and attendants where you’re registered. Guests will ask, and they’ll help get the word out.”
By hoping that your parents and wedding party will spread the word about your gift registry wishes, you are leaving out a key bit of information about your wedding.
Furthermore, Midwestern weddings are often large, with 250-350 guests in attendance. Relying on your wedding party and family to spread the word about your registry places an unfair burden on them.
Midwestern bride, Katie Raines, was married in 2012. She never even considered that the registry might be a tacky addition to her invitation. She used a subtle, small placement on an insert to list her registry.
Katie says, “We had 350 guests at our wedding! Relying on friends and family to mention our registry would have been completely chaotic! I believe it’s absolutely helpful to include your registry on your invitation. If someone chose to not include their locations for gift registries, I wouldn’t find it very thoughtful. It would require your guests to search for your registry, and if you carry a common name, it could be difficult for them to find you.”
Make Gift-Giving Easy
At their heart, registries are supposed to be helpful and many gift-givers prefer the guidance.
Renee Bauman, owner of Hitch Studio, explains, “Some guests prefer having some direction when it comes to what the couple likes; from camping equipment to board games. Or, maybe the couple is saving for a trip to Germany so the bride’s relatives can meet her new husband. Maybe this is a second marriage, and the best gift in the world would be a honeymoon (and a break from the kids) for just a week. Personally, I get more gratification out of gifting a couple with something they’ll LOVE as opposed to a gift card or guessing.”
“As a guest,” Katie says, “I want to buy the bride and groom what they feel is most helpful to them, and I can do that by being aware of where they are registered.”
Thoughtful, Not Tacky!
For the Midwestern couple, we believe that it is most helpful and polite to list your wedding registry or gift wishes within your wedding invitation on an insert card and as a wedding website if possible.
Be confident – knowing you’ve made the gift-giving and gift-receiving process easier on yourself, your family and wedding party, and – most importantly – your guests!
In case you’re interested in listing a honeymoon registry, here is a list of 10 tried and true reasons to do so! Hitch is all for it. From Lover.ly:
The number one reason from their website: “Is your apartment teeny tiny? Do you own more pots and pans than you know what to with? Then maybe a traditional registry just isn’t for you. Instead, consider creating a honeymoon registry! It’s SO much better than asking for cash. Asking your guests to give you straight monies isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do from an etiquette standpoint. But what else are you supposed to do when you just don’t want a stand mixer or new bath towels? The honeymoon registry helps you save face by disguising your request for financial support for your post-wedding trip; instead you’re asking for specific experiences and opportunities that your guests will be excited to help pay for. They can still send you payment via cash or check if they’d like, but you never had to explicitly ask for it.”